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The Area Office on Aging of  Northwestern Ohio's Kinship Navigator program guides grandparents and other relatives who are raising children in their extended families to services in the community.  Six educational and enrichment Kinship Clubs are held monthly as well as other workshops and events.

Click here for the current month's Kinship Navigator Newsletter, which includes a schedule of the this month's events.  Transportation is available to Kinship programming; call Norma Prater at 419-725-7033.

Click here for information about the Kinship Back to School Blow Out.

Dozens of community agencies have services for grandparents, aunts uncles, brothers and sisters raising their relatives' children. 

Call Norma Prater at 419-725-7033 or Kylie Moore at 419-725-7037  ... we'll help you find the way...

Community services for kinship families will help with:

• Financial assistance, regardless of income         
• Health care coverage, regardless of income
• Early childhood care for aged 3 to pre-kindergarten 5 year olds
• Finding child care    
• Legal questions
• Managing a child's anger and behavior
• Help with services from the schools
• Food and clothing resources                                                     
• Recreational activities
• Alcohol and drug problems
• Six  Kinship Clubs - Informational and enrichment programs  

Your call is strictly confidential.  When you call Kinship Navigator, you can be assured the call and the information you  share will be kept confidential. Neither your name or the children's names will be given to other individuals or agencies.

The ZONTA Club of Toledo 1 and LCCS fund emergency help for kinship families, call for details – Jamie Richardson at 419-725-7039..

When you call the Kinship Navigator

The Kinship Navigator will:

• Talk with you about your family’s situation
• Determine the services you might want
• Refer you to agencies that have these services
• Put a plan together
• Follow-up to see how the plan is working
• If needed, suggest other services or agencies you might want to contact.

Scrolling down you will find:

       Answers For You 

        Financial Help For You to Consider

        Answers For You

        Heroes in Our Midst    

        Your Family’s Story Is Important

·       All About Al-Anon and Alateen

·       K is for Kinship

·       Setting Loving Limits

·       Caring for Abused and Neglected Children

·       Effects of Trauma

·       Emergency Help for Kinship Families

·       Educate Yourself

·       When Family Ties Turn Into Entanglements

·       Kinship Navigator Program Awards

Answers For You

Question:  When will my three-year-old learn not to hit all the time?

Answer:  We have all asked this question as our children are growing up.  We don’t want our children to hit but we don’t know what to do to stop it.

Hitting is often a part of young children’s normal development .  As parents, we begin to teach our two-year–olds that hitting is not the way to “get what we want’ and we try to help them learn how to handle frustration without hitting.

Here are some ideas to help your children learn not to hit:

Try not to put your preschoolers in situations where they could easily become frustrated. 

When a child does start to get frustrated, move in and calm the child down by changing the activity or giving a snack.

Stop a child who is in the act of hitting; say, “Hitting hurts; let’s use words.”

Help your child learn to express feeling with words, not hitting.

Give “time outs” for hitting, allowing the child to calm down.

Please don’t spank as a discipline for hitting — young children see spanking as a form of hitting.

Praise children for solving problems without hitting.

Adapted  from information from the Family and Child Abuse Prevention Center—419-244-3053

Financial Help — New Income Levels

Some kinship caregivers may be eligible for financial help from Lucas County Children Services through a program called KPI, Kinship Permanency Incentive. If eligible and approved, a caregiver would receive $1,000 upon approval of the initial application for each kinship child approved.    Re-application is to be made every 6 months.  The caregiver would receive $500 for each child upon approval for each child's re-applications.  There are no payments between application & re-applications.  The maximum amount for each child may not be more than $3,500 total and shall not be provided for more than 36 consecutive months.

In order to receive KPI the following is required:

Legal custody must have been awarded to the caregiver on or after July 1, 2005; Lucas County Children Services may, or may not, have been involved;

To receive the cash payments, eligible families must apply through Lucas County Children Services and complete a family home assessment;

Caregiver must be an Ohio resident; and,

Family income may not exceed 300% of poverty level.

300% of poverty level for a family’s size is as follows:

    Family Size      300% of Federal Poverty Level

         2                   $42,000.00

       3                     $52,800.00

       4                     $63,600.00

       5                     $74,400.00

       6                     $85,200.00

       7                     $96,000.00

       8                   $106,800.00

For each additional family member, add $10,800.

Receiving KPI would not interfere with the monthly financial assistance that kinship children receive from Lucas County Job & Family Services.  For more information please call 419-213-3275 at Lucas County Children Services.

Answers For You
Question:  My granddaughter gets so angry over the smallest things.  She seems especially upset when her mother leaves our house after a visit.  How can I help her with this?  

Answer:  I’m sure you recognize that even though your granddaughter is living with you, her grandmother, she is deeply hurt about not living with her mother.  Many children in this situation are also separated from their brothers and sisters, which also adds to their hurt.  Her anger is one way of dealing with the emotional impact of being separated from her family. But what can you do to help her?

First, the old advice to not take it personally, applies in this situation too.  In fact, if she is striking out at you, you can view this as evidence that she trusts you and knows that you love her unconditionally.

Let her “have her anger.”  Don’t punish her for crying and screaming.  As long as she is not hurting herself or others, or destroying things, let her get it all out.   She will calm down after the outburst.

When she does calm down, it is a good time to soothe her.  Hold her and let her know that she is loved.  Talk honestly to her about her mother and others that she misses.  Let her express her thoughts and feelings about the whole situation.

When her angry episode is over, let it be over for the time being.  Hopefully, over time, her hurt will lessen and she will adjust to what life has dealt her, even though it’s not what we would want for any child.

Question:  My four-year-old grandchild was neglected over a period of a year or two before I took over raising him.  How might this affect him? And what should I do about? 

Answer: 

When children have been

neglected they may also may have been abused.   This situation is causing the children and you a variety of emotional and physical upsets.

These can range from sadness and guilt to frustration and outright rage; from sleepless nights and nail biting to serious stress-related illnesses. We hope that you know you are doing the right thing when you:

• Allow the child and yourself to be angry “at the world;”

• Do not get upset if his school/day care reports poor performance and/or bad behavior;

• Do not allow others to make

judgments about the children’s

behavior;

• Speak honestly about the

situations confronting the child

and you;

• Advocate for the child with teachers/child

care workers and others;

• Seek and ask for help; and,

• Take time for yourself.

Heroes in Our Midst

Toni and Charles Epperson were thinking it was going to be “their time” when the last of their four children turned 19; but it was not to be.  Along came two granddaughters about two years ago.  They are now 5 and 6 years old.  Mrs. Epperson was finishing her third year in college, studying social work when she began caring for her ill parents who have since passed away.  Shortly after they passed, the grandchildren came to live with them.  Mr. Epperson still works at Libbey Glass and Mrs. Epperson stays at home to be with the girls.  She plans on volunteering in the Library where they will be in school.  She says it’s been a struggle and stressful at times; but, she says  it’s also a blessing because she says, “They bring a new and fresh spirit to our house.”

Charles & Toni Epperson with LaTonia (left) and Sincere.

Your Family’s Story Is Important  We hope you will want to share your family’s story to foster better understanding of kinship families and instill hope for positive futures for kinship children.   Call and tell us how you and your children have lived through adversities, the set-backs the successes.  To learn more about this project, call Judy Paschalis at 419-725-7038. 

All about Al-Anon/Alateen 

The following is taken from “Fact Sheet:  AL-ANON and ALATEEN.” 

Alcoholics are not the only victims of the disease of alcoholism.  The families of alcoholics are also victims of this disease, even though they themselves do not have a drinking problem.

It is estimated by the Federal Government that there are 80 to 90 million people in the United States whose lives are seriously affected by someone's excessive drinking in general, this same percentage holds through the rest of t the world. 

AL-ANON and ALATEEN provide important information and help for the alcoholic’s family, whether or not the alcoholic seeks help or even recognizes the existence of a drinking problem. 

To find out where AL-ANON and ALATEEN meetings are in this area, call 419-537-7500 or go to this web site:  www.ohioal-anon.org

K - I - N - S - H - I - P

 K is for the KNOWLEDGE, the KNOW-how and the KINDNESS that you bring to the children in your care.

 I is for the INTELLIGENT way you approach the challenges in your life.

 N is for your good NATURED outlook with which you bring to most days.

 S  is for the never ending SEARCH you’re on to find what the children need.

 H  is for the family HERITAGE you HONOR by bringing the children to your HOME.

 I is for your INTUITION that guides you down the righteous path you are on with the children.

 P is for the PRIDE you instill in the children about your family.

Written by Judy Paschalis in honor of all kinship caregivers. 2007

Tips for Kinship Grandparents and Other Relatives

Effects of Trauma

Research is showing that young children who repeatedly experience the stress of seeing violence in their homes, or those who are physically abused, may have trouble focusing and learning when they get to school.

It is thought this type of trauma keeps the brain from developing properly; hence, the learning problems.

Emergency Help for Kinship Families

The Kinship Navigator Program may be able to help you if you need financial assistance  when the children first come to live with you, or you’ve lost your job, or you’ve had large medical expenses.

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Educate Yourself

If your child is having behavior or learning problems at school, there are important things you can do to help the school help your child.  Start by answering the following questions:

Do my child’s teachers know he/she is not living with the birth parents?
Have I met the teachers?
Is the child failing math or reading?
Does my child like school?
What should my child be learning at her grade level?
Do I attend school conferences? Visit the school?
Has the school asked to test/assess my child?
Do I know what IEP refers to?  504? MFE?

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

When Family Ties Turn Into Entanglements

Relatives Raising Children

It’s not an isolated situation — in fact, it’s quite common to find grandparents and other relatives raising children in their extended families.  In Ohio, it’s estimated that 10% of the households with children under 18 years of age have grandparents as the primary caregivers of the children, according to research by Ohio Department on Aging and Bowling Green State University.  And that’s just grandparents. Other relatives— aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers and sisters – have also taken on the parenting in many families.  Some who work with “kinship families,” as they’re called, say they think the 10% figure is conservative. 

The 1999 National Survey of American Families reports that in the U.S. more than 2 million children were living with relatives.  More often than not, according to the same 1999 survey, 90 per cent of the children living with relatives came to live with their grandparents or aunts or uncles without the involvement of a child welfare agency.   In other words, grandmother went to visit and found the house a mess, the kids alone, and mom and dad no where to be seen.  Grandma packed up the kids and they’ve been with her ever since. 

For most relatives who are thrust into raising children, it’s a complex and many times bewildering situation – the family ties have turned into entanglements.

It’s complex for many reasons, not the least of which are the guilt and anger that occur when grandparents must step-in because their own children cannot or will not take care of their offspring. Imagine, it’s your adult child who would rather go out partying than take proper care of the baby.  

The primary reason children are being raised by relatives is drug and alcohol abuse by the birth parents which leads to neglect, if not outright abuse, of the children.  (Death, illness, domestic violence, unemployment and teen pregancy are also reasons, but substance abuse  overwhelmingly tops the list.)

Naturally, these neglected children also are also filled with complex emotions.  They are most likely angry and may feel that the situation is their fault. Most of all, they are deeply confused, sad and depressed by what is essentially abandonment by their parents.  These feelings lead to temper tantrums, inability to focus, aggressive behaviors and other problems such as trouble making friends and achieving in school.  Also, many of the children have learning disabilities or delays because of the chaotic life they have led, or because they have physical disabilities such as fetal alcohol effects, or deficits because they were not nourished properly or stimulated as infants.

The situation quickly becomes bewildering  because the grandparents, or other relatives, may not have legal papers that would entitle them to enroll children in school or obtain health care for the children.  Finding legal advice from an affordable attorney and also  from an attorney who is well-versed in the law that is involved in kinship families is not easy.  These legal difficulties often drive relative caregivers “underground” and this is one of the main reasons that those who work with kinship families think there are far more kinship families than the research shows.

Finances also are an issue.  Financial assistance and health insurance for the children may be available from public agencies for the children; however, even with this assistance, many relatives find the extra people in the household really squeezes the budget, to say nothing of the crowding that may occur in the house itself.

But all these difficulties pale beside the stress that the family “entanglements” cause the caregiver and children. 

Caregivers have told the following:   the children’s birth mom will tell the five grandkids they don’t have to do what the grandmother says because she (the grandmother) is not their mom; the child’s birth mom will tell the child she’s coming to visit that afternoon, but never shows up; the children’s parents will threaten to call the public child serving agency and get the agency to “take” the kids if the caregivers don’t do what the birth parents say; the birth parents will refuse to cooperate with custody papers and therefore necessitate the caregivers hiring an attorney; and, on and on.

It certainly is true that some birth parents bow out of the picture and let the relative caregivers establish a stable home for their children.  But at the very least, most caregivers have stress connected with the very fact that it is adult members of their own families who are choosing not to care properly for the children.  And, of course, the relatives worry about the birth parents’ substance abuse, lack of employment, violence and all the numerous things that accompany dysfunction.

The Positives of Kinship Caregiving

Given all the above, is there anything positive about being a kinship family.  YES!

No doubt, grandparents and other relatives would prefer to have the birth parents taking good care of the children; but, since they are not, the grandparents often feel they have no other choice but to step-in to do the parenting and it’s not all bad.

Many relative caregivers are natural nurturers.  They are very happy to have the “pitter patter of little feet” in the house. 

The relatives may find they worry less about the children when they are living with them.  They know what the kids are doing, with whom and when.

 

Some simply enjoy children and enjoy participating in the activities that involve children – sports, scouts, coloring, reading stories, children’s movies, etc.The relatives may realize that they have special skills such as teaching, carpentry, music, cooking  and other talents that they can pass along to the children.

Because of their life-experiences and maturity, they may be well-equipped to help a child grow in all ways, including spiritually.

On some level, the grandparents may feel, rightly or wrongly, that they are “making up” for the mistakes they made with their own children. They may feel that this is their chance to “do things right.”  They know that they are providing a safe, orderly, drug-free environment for their grandchildren.

And, happily, sometimes, the relatives see a change in the birth parents that leads to the children being able to live with their biological parents.

One Community’s Response

For the more than 6,000 families in Lucas County in northwestern Ohio, in which relatives are raising children, the Kinship Navigator Program exists to guide them to services.  The Program is sponsored by the Area Office on Aging of Northwestern Ohio, Inc., located in Toledo, with funding from Lucas County Job & Family Services and the Family Caregiver Support Program.

 The Kinship Navigator Program guides relatives to:

• Financial assistance from Job & Family Services, regardless of the family’s income;
• Health care coverage for the children, regardless of the family’s income;
• Legal advice and counsel;
• Behavior counseling and parenting advice;
• Recreation and enrichment activities and programs; and,
• Education and support.

The Kinship Navigator Program also facilitates a monthly educational/support meeting which features a free light supper and programs for adults, teens, elementary aged children and toddlers.

 Most professionals who work with children agree that placing children with family members is a response by government that serves the families and the taxpayers well.  It is far less costly, in terms of tax dollars, to have children in “kinship families” than in foster care; and, most professionals agree that, in general, the children will do better when living with members of their own families.  With the help of the Kinship Navigator Program, many caregivers are able to find ways to not only take care of the children, but to take care of themselves also.

Top Ten Reasons It’s Not All Bad With Children In the House Again

1. You’ve started to laugh out loud again.
2. You know you are doing the best you can to take care of the children in your family.
3. Attending the kids’ baseball games is fun and keeps you young.
4. Because the children are living with you, you know they’re safe and are being kept with family and not in foster care.
5. You’re getting a lot more exercise.
6. You’re sleeping a lot better.
7. Ice-cream cones are once again an after dinner treat.
8. You know that 56 is the answer to 7 times 8 without having to pause to think.
9. You really do love having the kids around.
10. Your caregiving may be the single most important reason that the children will grow up with positive outlooks and armed with the ability to lead productive lives.

Kinship Navigator Program Wins Awards

For the second year in a row,  the Kinship Navigator Program in Lucas County was awarded, the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging (n4a) “Aging Innovations and Achievement Award.”  This awards program recognizes and showcases innovative and successful aging programs that serve older adults in local communities across the country.   Mrs. Billie Johnson, President/CEO, of the Area Office on Aging of Northwestern Ohio, Inc. received the award at the yearly conference which was held in San Francisco in July 2007.

The Kinship Navigator program, sponsored by the Area Office on Aging of Northwestern Ohio, Inc., received the second highest category of awards given by this national organization.  The Kinship Navigator program provides valuable resources and assistance to grandparents and family members who find themselves in the parenting role again.  The program was created in 2001 by the Lucas County Job and Family Services and Children Services Agencies.  The program’s mission is…“to guide grandparents and other relatives who are raising children to services in the community.”

In May, 2006, the Area Office on Aging’s Kinship Navigator program also received the Child Advocacy Award from St. Vincent Mercy Hospital.  The award is given annually to an organization that has made outstanding contributions in advocacy to improve the health and well being of children in Northwest Ohio.

The ZONTA Club of Toledo 1 and LCCS fund emergency help for kinship families, call for details.

Kinship Navigator is sponsored by the Area Office on Aging of Northwestern Ohio, Inc.  Funding is from Job & Family Services,  Lucas County Children Services and the  Area Office on Aging Family Caregiver Support Program.